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The first to claim space that night were some Team USA track and field fellas."The next morning," Lakatos says, "swear to God, the entire women's 4x100 relay team of some Scandinavian-looking country walks out of the house, followed by boys from our side.

And I'm just going, 'Holy crap, we'd watched these girls run the night before.'"And on it went for eight days as scores of Olympians, male and female, trickled into the shooter's house -- and that's what everyone called it, Shooters' House -- at all hours, stopping by an Oakley duffel bag overflowing with condoms procured from the village's helpful medical clinic.

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Everyone celebrates Loofah Day in their own way, but we like to pull out the sacred text and read aloud from its most memorable and moving passageā€”a transcript of O' Reilly's late-night 2004 monologue to Mackris, delivered during the Republican National Convention, while he was watching a porno: So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...

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