When looking for love, should you focus on "being what others want" and making yourself appealing?Or, should you focus on "figuring out what you want" and going after the love life you desire? Now, here's where I further cement my place as "The Attraction Doctor" and settle this debate.The discussion was initiated by an article from Dr. In that article, she discussed how men can improve their love lives by focusing on what she proposes women really want (a man who is confident and high in self-esteem, as opposed to one who is simply materially wealthy). White in a response called "Who Cares What Women (or Men) Want - What Do You Want? Both authors make compelling cases for their perspective.
Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor I'm taking a break from my series on rejection to comment on another matter.
For those of you who might not know, there is an interesting discussion going on in the Psychology Today blogosphere. White's message is that figuring out what you want in a relationship (and being authentic to who you are) is more important than guessing about what others want you to be (and trying to fit those expectations).
Particularly, diving into individual topics can make people think that you need a spreadsheet, planner, and graphing calculator to find and keep love. Therefore, in this article and the next, I will endeavor to cut to the chase.
I will make dating simple for you this time (relationships next time).
As useful as this might sound, it’s the kiss of death for true intimacy, because it leads us away from the most essential ingredient of all—authenticity.
Thankfully, there is a good amount of thoughtful, research-based, and effective guidance available to us, but the field is mostly populated by the “make yourself more appealing” school of thought.
We've already learned more than a few tricks, tips, and successful techniques along the way too.
Somewhere along the way, however, dating and relationships got a bit complicated.
Common sense says that you should get a place that's in between you and your partner's places of work.
But, according to recent research, you may want to choose a place that allows you to both travel to work in the same direction instead.
Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor For those of you following along, I've been blogging here at Psychology Today for a full year this month.