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which Welles didn’t direct and appears in for only a handful of scenes as a mysterious and morally unscrupulous black marketer living in postwar Vienna.

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Much like a naked adaptation of The Tempest, our two protagonists were seemingly guided by some mysterious magical force at work on this island of flesh. She is the proud owner of very large breast implants. They make her more money than little boobs, and, she reveals, they are magical. But both of these souls are from Northern California; they speak the same language without even having to say a word — they decide to do naked cartwheels in the grass as a “get to know you” activity. For a while, it seems like these two really might have a “genuine connection.” But over dinner, after a real heart-to-heart, it turns out their dating philosophies are incompatible. He puts on his cowboy hat, the one that makes him feel a little bit more confident, like Chad Kroeger, and goes to meet his second lady. We’ll get to Meg’s date later — it was actually quite inconsequential — but a quick summary: Meg is a former stripper from South Carolina. J., Nickelback fan, has been dreaming of this moment — the moment he drops trou in front of a female stranger — his entire life. As Liddy approaches, he drops the icebreaker: “Hi, I’m A. and this is my cock and balls.” The ice remained intact. (This is a standard VH1 joke: two naked people straddling a giant, high-speed phallus. It’s a meta-funny.) Anyway, they are both turned on by each other’s wanton disregard for their genital safety and free-spirited humping of a giant banana. Did Liddy’s rejection affect him more than he thought? (She demonstrates a disturbing prejudice against soft, white things. Joe uses this opportunity to assert his masculinity by telling Liddy she can’t read a map, but also demonstrates his ingrained southern gentleman tendency by grabbing her bare butt to help her maintain balance. Liddy proceeds to take a shot and finally gets to release that gag she’d been suppressing all day. Though publicly insisting they were siblings, public records emerged in 2001 that indicated that she and Jack were married in 1996, prior to the band's formation; they divorced in 2000, before The White Stripes ascended to international fame.In 2009, she married guitarist Jackson Smith, son of musicians Patti Smith and Fred "Sonic" Smith. While on tour in support for The White Stripes' sixth studio album, Icky Thump, White suffered a bout of acute anxiety, and the remaining dates of the tour were cancelled.Lime’s old pal, destitute pulp writer Holly Martins (played by frequent Welles cohort Joseph Cotten), is the film’s ostensible protagonist.

But Lime is the one who controls the story, which centers on Martins investigating the circumstances of his enigmatic childhood chum’s demise.Dating Naked, for all its cries of revolution and flapping dong, is actually a formulaic reality show. Last night’s contestants were pretty textbook — lovelorn, seeking connections forged in vulnerability, comfortable with exposing themselves, etc. J., a pro wrestler from Berkeley, California, who self-identifies as a Nickelback fan. Something similar could be said about how White has conducted his career for the past 15 years.Other parallels between White and the film he named his record label (and pre-fame upholstery company! You could, for instance, make a superficial argument about how White tries to cultivate a Lime-like air of intrigue around everything he does.Jack White has issued a written apology to The Black Keys, his former bandmate Meg White and others over comments he made in a recent Rolling Stone magazine interview.