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As a relationship specialist, I get emails and messages from people from all over the world struggling through relationship mistakes.Here are some of the most common dating mistakes that I deal with across the board; mistakes that I believe can be avoided if we know ourselves, set our boundaries and take our time along the way: Feelings are a great compass that can guide us in the right direction, but they aren’t an accurate roadmap.

My advice is to get out there, but avoid these common mistakes I see women make after divorce.Dating too soon after the divorce: I learned this lesson early. I was a dating disaster since I wasn't truly ready.Many single Christian women use spending an excess amount of time in church as a cover-up to the fear that dwells within.Church is their wall of protection, but just like other walls in their life, it can still block their blessings.Since they’re not “in love” with your boyfriend or girlfriend, they should be able to more clearly see whether this person is a good potential spouse for you.

“What if nobody else comes along and I’ll be single forever” is probably not a good way to make decisions on dating and marriage.

This plays right into the tendency to be blinded by feelings.

Those who know you best and who care about you as a friend are great resources in dating.

Now that I work in a young adult ministry with a few thousand singles, I see the same dating mistakes happening over and over again. So, in no particular order, here are nine of the most common dating mistakes I’ve seen: Either you’re heading for marriage, or you’re heading for a break-up.

So if marriage isn’t your goal, or isn’t even an option, you’re basically guaranteeing the relationship will fail. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have feelings for the person you’re dating, but it becomes a problem when they blind you to the facts.

You just nibbled through an entire bar of dark chocolate. You are "out there" again, and the dating world has changed a lot since the eighties. Put down the chocolate; it really isn't so bad out there.